OMG

It's a bit blurry - but I'm sure you get the idea. It's really early, but I can't even freaking believe this. I'm approx. 4 weeks pregnant - due some time around mid-July. Oh my Lord...

Matters of the heart

The Stress Echo went okay - I was so nervous that my heart rate was 170 - no need to get on the treadmill to stress my heart.  Both the tech and the cardiologist said that my heart was functionally and structurally normal, so that's good.  They want me to wear a 48 hour EKG monitor to make sure that my heart rate isn't always sky high.  So, I'll be making an appointment for that.  The cardiologist's exact words were, "You don't have anything bad wrong with you."  He knew what I needed to hear!

I am STOKED that in 2 weeks, the Twilight movie comes out.  My husband and I are living in true dork fashion and going to the 12am showing.  I couldn't resist.  I feel like I have been waiting forever - good thing I didn't find the books when they first came out!

In other news, Tom and I are pretty broke.  Once again, we have tons of medical bills because of my neurologist appointments and my sleep study.  Over 3 grand.  Blech.

I'm almost done with my second sock.  WOO HOO!!  After that, I am knitting up my "vampire yarn" which I bought on etsy.  

Tonight Tom and I are going to a friend's house.  A friend I think I've seen ONCE in 8 years!  I'm so excited to catch up with her!!!

Have a great weekend!

Blech.

Tomorrow I have to have an echocardiogram and I am NOT looking forward to it. There are a number of reasons for this.

1. I am a hypochondriac. You say the words "heart problem" or "potentially harmful/dangerous" and my mind starts RACING! This is what happened in September when my neurologist noted a 7-beat run of ventricular tachycardia on my EKG strip. He even said it was VERY short, but of course I researched everything I could online and read how dangerous this can be.
2. It will be AT LEAST a week before I receive results. Please read above for more explanation about why this would bother me.
3. I hate doctors. My blood pressure will be sky high and my heart will be racing. Plus, it seems like whenever I am the most nervous is when I have to sit in the waiting room the longest.
4. My appointment isn't until 10:45am. This gives me tons of time to obsess about it once I wake up in the morning.

Luckily, my sister is coming along for support. I am just terrified that I have heart disease, CAD, cardiomyopathy, etc. (see, I really have done my research). Oh, and I also think I have heart failure. I have no family history, don't smoke, have no congenital heart defects, and have never had a problem with my heart in my life. I do, however, have high blood pressure, could lose quite a bit of weight, and barely exercise. So I have things going against me. If anything, this should be a wake-up call for me to get healthier - but instead, I'm focusing all of my thoughts on it and anxietizing about it (is that a word?)

Anyway, enough rambling about that.

I have decided to finish my second sock of my first pair of socks. It's been hiding for quite some time. I'm finally catching up on my school work and have been able to find a little time for myself.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow, as my stress has NO LIMITS!!!

Busy, busy, busy

It's been quite a busy week!  I've fallen way behind on my schoolwork over the past couple of months, unfortunately, and I am still struggling to get to where I should be.  I'm slowly getting there.  This is partially due to my periods of intense anxiety/depression and partially due to just laziness.  The third part of this is that I'm just so doggone tired all the time.  

Today I made brownies, my niece's recipe, in preparation for going to a friend's for dinner.  I ended up with a migraine (I think) that I was actually vomiting with - this could also be a stomach bug that's going around.  I'm pretty sure it was a migraine though, because I'm feeling WAY better after sleeping for 3 hours.  

On the knitting front, I've started working again on a lacey shawl I started back in May using Noro Aurora.  I keep making mistakes, but it's so gappy that they don't show, luckily!  I'm also working on a vampire-inspired knit (the dork in me coming out...)  a neck warmer in red and black Jitterbug mixed with a Kraemer yarn with silver in it.  I had to rip some of it out today (UGH!!!!!), but that's just the way it is, I suppose.

Tomorrow will be a day of cleaning (I've been trying to get the bedroom organized), and homework.  Hopefully I can finish Breaking Dawn at some point in the near future!

6 months later...

It's been quite some time since I have posted. My dad passed away in June, which was difficult for my whole family, especially my mom. We are still grieving in some ways, but things have gotten a lot better. Tom and I are living with my mom and both working hard and going to school full time. So, it's rare that we see each other.

I have been trying to find the time to do some knitting in between school, work, and reading the Twilight saga, which I admit that I am obsessed with. I am on the final book, Breaking Dawn, and am ready to finish it up so that I can start the first book over again before the movie comes out at the end of November.

I've been having some major anxiety issues lately, although they seem to be quieting down. I had a sleep study done at the end of September which revealed mild sleep apnea, but also revealed that I had a 7-beat run of ventricular tachycardia during the night. Needless to say, this freaks the ever-living crap out of me. Of course I went right to the internet and researched the subject. Most of the time, people with this have heart disease, structural damage to the heart, or heart failure. I had an EKG 2 weeks ago at the doctor, which was clear. My blood work looked good. The only test left for me to have is a stress echo, which is scheduled for 11/5. Not looking forward to it.

I'm struggling to re-commit to fitness and weight loss, which is hard with the very small amount of time I have to myself. I try to eat right for the most part, but toward the end of the day I get sleepy and lazy and stop keeping track of what I eat. Anyone have any good ideas?!!?

Yarn!!!!

I went to Charlotte Yarn today and had fun just poking around in there. My next project is an "Aibhlein" (not sure about the spelling!) - it's a wrap/shawl kind of thing. I bought Blue Sky organic dyed cotton to make it.

I have to finish Jack's baby blanket first, though. I've been working on it for about 2 years now! Sooner or later it will be complete. Although, Jack might be 25 by that time.

Nothing much else going on here - knitting, school work, Weight Watchers, sleeping. Oh, how I love the sleeping. I have taken to napping in a chair in the living room (just like my dad, ha ha). I just get comfy and drift off.

Last night Kate and I went to Caribou coffee and did some knitting. I had some really yummy "Mahogany" blend coffee. I've been drinking kind of a lot of coffee lately. It's ok, though, it keeps me energized for a short while anyway. I should definitely be drinking more water than anything!

Off to dork around on ravelry for awhile and then do some knitting.

One more week

One more week until school starts again for me. And I'm taking 3 classes instead of 2 this coming quarter -eek! I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. My knitting is going to suffer for sure!

I've been working on lots of small knitting projects and I feel like I'm able to get things accomplished that way. I'm finishing up a mug cozy for my sister and then I'm making a beer cozy for one of my brothers. Today Kate and I are going to a "Yarn Tasting" event at one of the yarn stores here. I am so excited - you get to try out all different kinds of yarns and eat chocolate (which is always good).

We found out this week that my dad has another tumor. :( He went for a colonoscopy on Wednesday to be cleared for surgery and we got the bad news. He had a CT scan yesterday and gets the results on Tuesday. I'm really praying for good news. He seems to be doing ok. My brother Mike is here and that helps A LOT! He is a great positive influence and keeps things light around here.

Yesterday we had to drop a bunch of money on getting Tom's car fixed - he was having problems with a coolant hose or something. It ended up costing twice what they quoted us because they had to flush the radiator. Ugh. The fun of having cars! And as fate would have it, my "Change Oil Soon" light came on yesterday, so I have to get that taken care of.

Well I'm off to start the beer cozy! I really should post pics of my knitting on here at some point.