Wow - Easter is here! Actually, since it's 20 minutes to 8:00pm, it's almost over. It's been a pretty uneventful day, just hanging out with the family. My brother Mike is here visiting and Kate, Chris, and Jack came over for dinner tonight.
I have been knitting like a fiend! Actually, I've been starting projects and messing them up. Now I'm working on a baby hat that will hopefully turn out ok. Kerry introduced me to Ravelry.com and I am totally addicted. I'm constantly on the website.
I have been so sleepy lately. Actually, it's been going on for quite some time. I get so sleepy that it actually feels like my body is moving but my brain is asleep - even at work when I'm doing something. It's really weird. Starting tonight, I'm trying to get in to a rigid routine of going to bed at the same time every night and getting enough sleep. If that doesn't help, I'm going to go to my doctor. I've already seen him for it and at first he thought it was one of my medications, but my younger sister has narcolepsy, and I'm showing some signs of that. If that's the case, I want to be treated!!! Being so darn sleepy makes enjoying my day hard. There are many times when I have to go out to my car at work and take a nap on my lunch break. Ugh. On the weekends, I take 2-3 hour naps both days.
Anyway, back to my knitting.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Highly Caffeinated
Ok, I have had way too much sweet tea and I feel like I am typing at lightning speed.
I'm getting ready to work on a knitting project that I started months ago and need to finish! It's a fingerless mittens project and 1 is done, just need to finish the 2nd. The problem is, I don't know where the pattern is! I found it online in someone's blog and am having a hard time relocating it. I had printed it out, but it is since long gone.
In other news, we adopted a dog yesterday (my mom and I). Her name is Sugar and she's a Border Collie/Australian Cattle Dog mix. She is SO sweet. She gets a little nutty around other dogs, but is great with people and learns quickly. I'll be sure to post a pic of her on here soon.
It's hard to believe that next week is Easter already! That's insane! My brothers will be here in a few weeks because we are thinking my dad will be having surgery soon - if they ever give him a date. The damn procedure keeps getting pushed back because of one setback or another.
Tom and I have totally slacked off on Weight Watchers, but are starting back tomorrow. I went to Trader Joe's today with my mom and got some stuff to get us through most of the week. We'll see how it goes. It's hard to stay on track. I'm just used to stuffing my face with whatever I want to do. I know it's a matter of changing a bad habit, and no one said it would be easy.
Well, I'm off to knit as the dog pulls the stuffing out of her favorite toy.
I'm getting ready to work on a knitting project that I started months ago and need to finish! It's a fingerless mittens project and 1 is done, just need to finish the 2nd. The problem is, I don't know where the pattern is! I found it online in someone's blog and am having a hard time relocating it. I had printed it out, but it is since long gone.
In other news, we adopted a dog yesterday (my mom and I). Her name is Sugar and she's a Border Collie/Australian Cattle Dog mix. She is SO sweet. She gets a little nutty around other dogs, but is great with people and learns quickly. I'll be sure to post a pic of her on here soon.
It's hard to believe that next week is Easter already! That's insane! My brothers will be here in a few weeks because we are thinking my dad will be having surgery soon - if they ever give him a date. The damn procedure keeps getting pushed back because of one setback or another.
Tom and I have totally slacked off on Weight Watchers, but are starting back tomorrow. I went to Trader Joe's today with my mom and got some stuff to get us through most of the week. We'll see how it goes. It's hard to stay on track. I'm just used to stuffing my face with whatever I want to do. I know it's a matter of changing a bad habit, and no one said it would be easy.
Well, I'm off to knit as the dog pulls the stuffing out of her favorite toy.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Fun times
Tom and I went out with some friends to the Breakfast Club last night and had a great time. Of course, I imbibed a few too many Purple Rains, as always ;)
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Another month has passed...
And I still suck at keeping up with my blog! Oh well. I'm pretty sure I've started blogs in the past and never gotten past 1 entry.
So tonight I'm feeling a little uneasy and depressed. I came to the shocking realization today that if we had not lost our baby back in November, I would be due in 1 1/2 months. Wow. I think all of this has surfaced again because Sunday (3/9) was the 1 year anniversary of my 2nd miscarriage (the one where we saw a heartbeat one day and the next it was gone).
I really do want to have a baby, but I just feel hopeless and like maybe we should take some time off. I had an RE appointment last week but had to cancel due to insurance issues (another story entirely). Tom and I have discussed waiting until we're done with school, which would be about 2 1/2 years from now. Do I really want to wait until I'm almost 30 to have my first child? Not that 30 is old, but I personally have always wanted to have kids in my 20's. My health insurance is causing a problem for me with this stuff because the deductible is so high. All 3 of my miscarriages cost a huge amount of money for us. Do I really want to go through all of the effort and expense to be disappointed again? Will we ever become parents?
So many unknowns drive me nuts. I like to know precisely what is going to happen, especially when it comes to my body. I feel like I can't trust my body with pregnancy. Last time we thought everything was great and then BOOM - everything came crashing down. It took a terribly long time for me to get back to feeling "normal." And still when I see a pregnant woman I feel a pang of jealousy. Why can't I still be pregnant? Why did my precious baby have to leave us? Where was God in all of this? How can crack addicts and abusers have 5 healthy kids and I can't have any? Wasn't I doing everything right? The questions go on and on...
I can just feel my heart breaking tonight. Sometimes I feel like I should be over this - like maybe I'm just too dramatic or something. Then the magnitude of what has really happened hits me - my baby died. I SHOULD be dramatic. I should NOT be over this. I will probably never truly get over it. It has only been 4 months.
Everything else is the same - work, school, etc. Can't really complain about all of that. My dad is having another surgery in another couple of weeks. I'm hoping for the best.
I need to get back to church - it keeps me balanced and makes me feel like I don't have to struggle to be in control.
So tonight I'm feeling a little uneasy and depressed. I came to the shocking realization today that if we had not lost our baby back in November, I would be due in 1 1/2 months. Wow. I think all of this has surfaced again because Sunday (3/9) was the 1 year anniversary of my 2nd miscarriage (the one where we saw a heartbeat one day and the next it was gone).
I really do want to have a baby, but I just feel hopeless and like maybe we should take some time off. I had an RE appointment last week but had to cancel due to insurance issues (another story entirely). Tom and I have discussed waiting until we're done with school, which would be about 2 1/2 years from now. Do I really want to wait until I'm almost 30 to have my first child? Not that 30 is old, but I personally have always wanted to have kids in my 20's. My health insurance is causing a problem for me with this stuff because the deductible is so high. All 3 of my miscarriages cost a huge amount of money for us. Do I really want to go through all of the effort and expense to be disappointed again? Will we ever become parents?
So many unknowns drive me nuts. I like to know precisely what is going to happen, especially when it comes to my body. I feel like I can't trust my body with pregnancy. Last time we thought everything was great and then BOOM - everything came crashing down. It took a terribly long time for me to get back to feeling "normal." And still when I see a pregnant woman I feel a pang of jealousy. Why can't I still be pregnant? Why did my precious baby have to leave us? Where was God in all of this? How can crack addicts and abusers have 5 healthy kids and I can't have any? Wasn't I doing everything right? The questions go on and on...
I can just feel my heart breaking tonight. Sometimes I feel like I should be over this - like maybe I'm just too dramatic or something. Then the magnitude of what has really happened hits me - my baby died. I SHOULD be dramatic. I should NOT be over this. I will probably never truly get over it. It has only been 4 months.
Everything else is the same - work, school, etc. Can't really complain about all of that. My dad is having another surgery in another couple of weeks. I'm hoping for the best.
I need to get back to church - it keeps me balanced and makes me feel like I don't have to struggle to be in control.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Ugh!
I just composed a long post with lots of pics and it didn't work!! Anyway, here are some pictures of my family. Also, here's the Umbilical Cord hat from the Stitch n' Bitch book that I made yesterday. The yarn is weird - looks like camo when you knit it up.
Well we're flying home today - next time I post I'll be at my house!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Almost time to get back to reality.
We've had a great vacation and today's the last day. Tomorrow we'll be driving down to Albany to get on our flight home. I'm actually not dreading going home, because we've been keeping up with our laundry at my sister's house, so I won't be wrapped up in that when we get home. However, I do have a quiz due tomorrow and have no idea what it's even about!! AHHH!! I hope I'm able to figure it out - it's math, my very worst subject.
Today is the Winter Carnival Parade up here, I plan on taking pictures of it and posting them up later. There's also an ice palace that they make every year out of HUGE blocks of ice. Hopefully we'll get over there today and take some pics of that also.
My birthday was good and relaxing. I think as you get older, birthdays just aren't as fun. I remember being a kid and getting VERY excited about my birthday every year. I used to love planning the birthday parties, etc. The truth is, at this point in my life, I don't have many peers that I hang out with. I'm friends with a few people at work and my 2 best friends have moved far away in the past year. Sadly, I don't keep in touch with them as much as I should. I miss them lots.
I'm working on adding some songs to our iTunes library so I can load up my iPod before hanging out on planes and at the airport tomorrow.
Anyway - hopefully I'll be back later to post some pictures!
Today is the Winter Carnival Parade up here, I plan on taking pictures of it and posting them up later. There's also an ice palace that they make every year out of HUGE blocks of ice. Hopefully we'll get over there today and take some pics of that also.
My birthday was good and relaxing. I think as you get older, birthdays just aren't as fun. I remember being a kid and getting VERY excited about my birthday every year. I used to love planning the birthday parties, etc. The truth is, at this point in my life, I don't have many peers that I hang out with. I'm friends with a few people at work and my 2 best friends have moved far away in the past year. Sadly, I don't keep in touch with them as much as I should. I miss them lots.
I'm working on adding some songs to our iTunes library so I can load up my iPod before hanging out on planes and at the airport tomorrow.
Anyway - hopefully I'll be back later to post some pictures!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Knitting, vacation, etc..
Well it's been over a month since I posted - wow! Right now Tom and I are on vacation in the Adirondack mountains of NY. We're having a great time relaxing, reading, spending time with the family, etc. This weekend is "Winter Carnival" up here, and it's sure to be an interesting time. My brothers are coming up from southern NY for the weekend. It tends to get a little wild when I'm with my bros - there's usually alcohol involved and some silliness. I can't wait! I've spent the past couple of days knitting a hat for my co-worker's baby shower, and I'm going to post it up here. I'm also posting a picture of Tom and me at the airport in Greensboro, NC on our way up here. The little girl in the picture is my niece, and the hat is on her doll. It's so soft! Made with Rowan yarn - one of the cashmere blends that my older sister had in her stash. Now I'm working on an iPod case for my dad.
The little guy is my nephew/God-son, Sam, who just started free-standing! He's such a cutie!
Tomorrow is my 26th birthday and my sister is taking DH and I out to dinner tonight. I can't believe I'll be 26!!! It seems like I just turned 21.
On the TTC front, we've decided to hold off for awhile. This May, we'll both be in school and we want to focus on that for awhile. I'm not sure when we'll try again. I'm going to the RE next month at some point to have some blood testing done.
Hope everyone is well. Hope these pics work!
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